Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize