Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
