But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this just has baby written all over it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
