Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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