Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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