I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
