doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
