Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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