So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
