tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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