How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
