It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had to cum in my sink.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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