he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
