Sponge bath it is.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
