I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
