Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
