Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
