some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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