how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize