need another drink. this is the easiest way
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
