my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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