I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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