My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
