when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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