If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
