brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
