doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
