sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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