I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
