just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
