please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
