His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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