I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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