I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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