meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize