I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
