3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize