I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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