My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
