I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How external is "for external use only"?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
