That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
