Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
