brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just tell him i said nine months
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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