I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
