i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i am craving dick and cupcakes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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