i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's never too late to be topless.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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