so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize