You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
