She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize