boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Send help, water and tortillas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
