I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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