I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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