im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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