I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
