I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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