i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
