just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
