My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
