I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
