Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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