All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
