you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
