Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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