If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
