whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
