ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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