maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
