My liver just broke up with me...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
