dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Holy sore nipples Batman
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
