well you can't waste a boner
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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