People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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