let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
