"it" just moved
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
