Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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