I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize