FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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