i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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