ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize