I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
