She said her name was "party"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Randomize